Life’s been crazy these past few weeks – that has become my standard response to all the “How are you doing?” queries flung at me by friends and acquaintances. Somehow, this time, this semester seems different from all the others gone by. This one seems special. A foreboding of times to come?? Maybe. Or maybe it's just my overactive imagination. In any case, things have been different from what they used to be. For one, I feel as if life is suddenly spinning out of control with too much to do and too little time. At the same time, there is this serenity within me that tells me that no matter what happens, it's all going to be OKAY. Yes, I must confess, I did have a tough time adjusting to this routine in the beginning, this apparently humdrum existence but life’s come a long way since then. Suddenly, the future that I dreamt of, of being free and independent seems quite close. So, today I decided to take time off from all the “necessary” activities and do something totally unnecessary i.e. watch a movie. I had been hearing a lot about “Pursuit of Happyness”. So, the afternoon found me in movieland.
The movie brought things in perspective to say the least. Suddenly, my good fortune and great circumstances looked me right in the face. I suddenly realized what it meant to “earn” success and with such realizations comes guilt. Yes, I felt guilty for squandering away time and resources that so many people would give anything to have. To fight the odds and win is stuff winners are made of and I have always dreamt of being a winner. It made me wonder if I was fortunate or unfortunate. Its only when u have been through hell’s fire that you can truly crave for and achieve heaven’s peace. But I never went through that fire. Does that mean I’ll never achieve that peace that I too crave for. Are the ones placed in difficult situations the lucky ones because they have the environment to prove themselves and rise beyond their capabilities? Do timely opportunities and resources prevent a person from being as great as he/she might have been after overcoming adverse circumstances? It’s a crazy thought, I know but a thought nonetheless. For those people who have courage enough to beat the odds, obstacles must almost be a welcome test. Or is it just that we love to look at the other side and assume that we’d have been far better off on that side? Human nature, maybe. Just a passing thought…
